Note to self.

Dear Me,
You need to know when you are tired enough to forget where you are driving to you should go home and stay there. And take a nap. You should not go to walmart and do some totally useless shopping that results in ice cream( two different kinds at that!) coming home with you and not getting any thing necessary like foil. Or a refill for your beloved ink pen.

You should also not not go see your mom but you should know when you are this tired the two hour round trip to get there will make it worse resulting in crappola food choices. Yes mt dew and sprite are some tasty drinks. Yes the bacon cheeseburger pizza you picked up for dinner with mom was really tasty with it's pickle and mustard instead of tomato sauce. Yes the ice cream cookie sandwich you ate on the way there was also tasty (carp that makes three different kinds of ice cream today!ugh!) with its soft cookies and mini chocolate chips. And while you know when you ordered the pizza you could have gotten yoruself a equally good salad but....you didn't did you? Why because your tired.

Your forgot appointments today and phone calls that had to be made. You just went down hill after your weightloss group meeting and yes, the psuedo weight watchers thing is still stuck in your craw (is that how you spell craw?) but come on! You have thought the weight watchers thing through enough to know what is getting to you about today's anouncement is this....yes they can learn how to do it. And yes several or all may do it well and loose weight where you flopped at it. And there is also the issue you have that it won't be done properly...cause people green peas ain't free! And just because fruit is free doesn't make it a free for all! I don't feel it will be done correctly. It bothers me because I was raised that if you are going to do something do it right. And it bother's me that several things I know to be correct that I have learned in the meeting I being told by those who have not put in the time that I am wrong. I was so ill about it at one point I flipped the books and was like here...such and such is such and such points....not free! And then when I said i have links to some really great ww's sites and the correction pdfs you would have thunk I asked to skin someone's puppy!
I need to get off of it...the horse is dead and I have beat it to mush.

Oh and yes Wendy you can be ok with being a bit bothered by the fact that when the group was talking about the sumer picnic and what they were bringing when you requested turkey dogs you were looked at like you had a turkey dog growing from your forhead. And you can be bothered that the closest thing to a healthy vegetable will be mayonaise based cold slaw. No one liked your offering of a fresh veggie tray...reason being we will have two potato salads, cole slaw, chips, and mayonaise based chicken salad and crackers to accompany the hot dogs. Don't even get me going on the full sugar and fat desserts! But it is ok to be upset with it. It is a bee in your bonnet and you can deal with it. You figured that if the picnic is hosted by a weightloss baised group that the options would be healthier...it is just disappointing that they aren't.

You may even be sad becuase the enviornment your depending on for healthy support....well you can read the picnic offerings and guess it ain't too figure friendly to say the least. Ok and yeah so darn near a dozen people are bringing desserts...some are bringing two! What the heck is with that???? 98% of what I heard was going to be brung was not one darm bit healthy. Because let's be honest a cherry loses a lot when it comes in a jar marked "marachino"!!! And the woman who put the smack down on your sugar free angel food cake with blueberry sauce made with splenda (or even stevia) idea because you might buy blueberries that are sent over from china and we all know chinese people put poison on them....well she is just looking out for everyone's health. Dear Lord help me she did say it and meant it. How I managed not to fall over out of my chair I still don't know.

Ok ...breathe it is ok. Your just tired. And no one will force you to eat food there. And you can even pack your own this and that because well heck it is your body and no one elses. Just shrug off the dissapointment and move forward. Your do remember forward right? Generally recognized as the direction your face is going in? Well the direction it would be going in if you weren't about to go face deep into your pillow. Now go to bed and spare anyone else from your babbel...it is getting weird!

Nighty nighty.