I miss the mom i used to have so bad today it is damn near killing me. I know I can drive an hour and go see the person who is holding her place these days and maybe, if I am lucky enough, I might catch a glimpse that seems so close the to the used to be her that I can hang on to it for a few more whatever.
I miss the woman I used to call when I was hurting. And God I hurt so badly today. By the way God where did you go? I was raised in the church and I believe in you. And i was always taught you don't give us any more than we can handle but you have to stop. I can't take anymore. I can't get through the last sevral months to even breathe right now. What did I do to you to make you so mad at me?
I just hurt so much today. I have cried for the last 3 hours. I sat in the tub with the shower on trying to make it stop and cover up the noise. I have tried to talk myself down just hear my own sobs drown out my thoughts even. I don't get what I have down so wrong to feel this badly.