Woohoo sunshine!!!!

Well we finally have sun again! And it is the shining of the bright green grass kind to boot! FYI.... I am in one of the states that has been hit repeatedly by storms recently and while not as bad as some of the other poor folks we have still had more than our fair share! I am a lover of a good rainey day watching some movies,knitting,reading hanging with the boy and maybe even getting a nap in but the stuff we have had lately is redonkulus!

I would like to report a loss but since we had such bad weather the group I weigh with didn't meat so I won't have any "official" numbers until next Tuesday. But that is ok! I have also sort of hit a tracking calories speed bump since Easter Sunday. But today I am back in the game and i refuse to beat myself up over it. I didn't plan to track on Easter and then the weather kept knocking the power out and ya know what? It is all ok. Seriously!

I did have some upsetting news though. Mom's coverage through insurance ends on May 6th at the rehab facility. So I and a wonderful woman at the hospital are running around headless trying to get her covered under disability and such so she can still get the care she needs. I just wish they would have told me this when she was admitted....not less than two weeks before it is due to happen. But it is ok. We are getting it taken care of and I have a phone interview on monday for her disability case so things will be the best they can be and I will be happy with it.

So I am doing my best to not to my worest and I will hang on to being happy and ok tooth and nail!

Howdy!

Well we made it through the storms Tuesday night. I actually slept pretty soundly except for some moments of sort of waking up. I had to sort of wake up to seprate the kitties who were all nutso in the butso. I don't think the storms were the problem, or at least not all of it. They would zoom through the bed room around the bed and across. Sometimes they would stop and wrestle each other and I would so so wake up and part the fur.

On getting healthy related news I am doing awesome (if I do say so myself) with keeping up with my calorie counting. I have tracked for three and a quarter days (today isn't over so I can't say four yet ;) )and while one day I met and was defeated by some devil Klondike bars I am bouncing back superbly (again if i do say so myself).
I have not figured up the comparison to points plus because I didn't realize fiber is not listed....hhhmmm.

Not much else other wise. Just some really cold temps which makes me glad to have so I don't have to turn on the air conditioner and doing laundry. Fun times huh?

Ok let's see what I can say before the storms get going around my neck of the woods!

Ok well first a momma update. Apparently on Sunday she managed to get herself (unknown to the nurses) out side of the rehab facility. Some visitors were leaving and she rolled on out with them and was found out front a little while later. She is fine though...my blood pressure not so much:( Now this facility is small and on a slight hill with a hwy about a hundred yards down in front of it. Best case she was just hanging out and they found her and got her back inside. Worse case.....well....
I am not happy about this but I know I need to breath about it. Things happen and I can't just yank her out of every place I get issues with but come on people!
My mom is not in her normal frame of mind. She calls my son by her nephew's name. She told a friend who called while in her room a few minutes ago three different reasons as to how or why she went out on her own. The staff knows this.
What do I do though?


Well I believe I have a plan for getting healthy.

1)Ok second....I went back to TOPS today. Btw they don't give key chains or washers for weight loss there. I really want a key chain and washers, really. I have lost a totally of 17 pounds though since starting Points Plus in November when it came out. I am happy about it. I honestly am. I think things with momma though is taking the shiney off it for me right now.

2) I am on sparkpeople.com and for two whole days I have honestly denoted everything I have eaten. Better than I have with points so far...sad I know but true. I like that i can see what percentage of my intake is what and man let me tell ya...the carbs are my demons! OOooyyeee!
I am also going to sit down later tonight and do the math and see where I am point wise. I think it is the grad student/ocd/look too closely monster in me rising up but I do want to see how the two compare just for giggles.

3) On Easter Sunday I am planning on starting 100 DAYS OF INTENTIONAL MOVEMENT FOR 30 MINUTES EACH DAY. I found a printable chart on another blog and I have printed it out and am gonna give it a whirl. I am even going to go buy stickers (because as I said in my earlier post I am a sticker ho) to put on each day I move intentionally:)
I am such a dork!

4) I also, as part of my getting healthy plan, went and saw my counselor today to drop some of the baggage I have gathered up the past few weeks. I got lucky when I called on Monday to schedule a visit and she had a cancelation today so you better believe I jumped all over it! So I am back in her patient rotation. OH! OH! OH! And they have a patient service there to help with my medication I am on...aka "happy pills". I take two differnt kinds and am a way better person on them than with out but 200.00 plus dollars a month is not something I can do on my own. Which my asking for this help is saying alot. I am a keep it to myself don't ask for help type.

5)...not sure what 5 is yet but I am sure there is a 5 as well as a 6,7,8 and so on.

Well I guess that is enough babbeling for now. If anyone reads this and has some input feel free to share or point out what I maight be missing in the scheme of things.

Night night all! And if you are in the line of these storms be careful!

Quick up date.....

Well I am still broken up with Weight Watchers. I am not going to the meeting today. Or Thursday. Nor did I go yesterday. I ....well it it is not that I think it doesn't work ...because it does for some people. I just am not sure it is for me. I also ( and this is so shameful to admit) have been unemployeed since Dec 2010 and the cost is getting to be, not too much so much but better used else where. Which makes me sad. I like the group but not the lack of supplies. And i really wanted the washer and key chain. Man i wanted those suckers really bad! I am a sticker/recognition 'ho like no one's business!
I do have a plan to keep getting healthy and I will post more later about it. I have followed through for yesterday and today and that is the best i can ask of myself:)
More on momma to come as well.
Back later!

Dear Weight Watchers,

Since the first week of the new points plus I have been signed up, paying and following you. But for the last two weeks when I go to meet you you are out of hand outs. Ok I know silly but come on! You don't even have the walk it info to give out! Wth? I pay each week and ya know to be told " oh sorry no hand outs" is a joke. And top it off I called your1-800 line and was told to troll other meetings to see what I can find!!! So yeah ......I think this may be the end of us. :(

A piece of me.

This may be a post that doesn't belong here. It may be a post you want to pass by. I believe in putting things out in the world so that maybe, some how, the world gives them back to you in a more manageable piece. A more livable form. I HOPE if i can get this out I can get rid of some of what I guess is anger or hurt or whatever it is. I can't tell at times.
Ok so if anyone wants to skip this I don't blame you and I totally respect you for it.........


January 31st of this year my momma suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. Two weeks later she had a aneurysm bleed. We have been in two hospitals and now she is in long term rehab. My momma is not the same person. She doesn't know things. She tells me she talked to daddy earlier or that such and such happened when she, her momma, my son and i went some where. Her daddy passed four years ago and her momma passed on my 16th birthday. I am 36 now. She says so many other things that are as a friend puts it, "talking out of her head". How do I correct this things or do I let her brain do it? Will her brain do it?
She is having to relearn so much. I have to handle her accounts and home. I have to make sure she gets to appointments and that the things she needs are brought to her. I have to tell her she can't leave with me and go home. Not yet.
I am mad. I am angry, pissed, and furious. I cry out for the momma I am scared I lost for good while visiting the person who is occupying her space for the time being.
I want to call her and ask her what to do......but she can't tell me.
I want to scream in rage and sorrow. This should have not happened to a healthy person like her. It should have been me, this was mine not hers. Why her? I am the over weight one, the one who is lazy. This was not hers. It was mine.
I want to cut off my hair to my scalp in mourning for who I am scared is gone from me forever. I want to build my own wailing wall in my back yard and tuck memories and pain between the cracks.
I want the world to see my pain. I want to lay it bare and let everyone examine it until it is thin and numb. I want it gone but I don't want to let it go.
I want to lay with my head in her lap and let her pat my hair and cry until for the love of everything good it stops.

Well well well....

Ok trying this again......maybe I can land this in the right place.
Not much going on. I find I am making myself nuts these days reading blogs and such on weight loss. I have a large, huge, ......massive(?) amount to lose. I have a person and a small child to lose. I should be at a weight that would mean I would width 10 lbs less than my soon to be sixteen year old. I have to lose an amount that equates to 13 lbs more than what the same child weights. And that sucks. Really badly sucks funky monkey booty.
I did however come across a post I felt hit close to how I should be thinking about this weight loss journey. When I get the thoughts more processed I will post more about it.

Well I guess I will hit "post" and see where this lands......here's hoping!