Well I have mulled this over since Tuesday.
I let myself get my feeling hurts and cry over what a 14 year old said to me.
Let me try to give you some perspective to what was said.....
The scene: It was 80 days at the boy's highschool in prep for a big football game Friday night. The 14 year old girl had been wearing a leotard that if she removed her jacket would shor her bra straps and she would get a referral. This also ties into about two weeks ago I had seen this girl also 14 wearing a skirt that barely covered what mad her a her and stockings and garters there for God and everyone to see thanks to extremely short skirt. I was talking to 14 year olds mom and aunt and this girl came up in our "shock at other students" rammbeling and that for this other girl this outfit was very covered up. I mentioned I didn't want nathan around this girl when 14 year old laugh saying the too shirt skirt girl is one of her friends and "oh...guess who just texted me". All three adults conferred that too shirt skirt could use some more guidance and that how odd it was she just texted .....anyhoo
14yr: I am so ready to take off this jacket.....she explains why as i said above.
me: wait why would you get a referral?
14yr: explains bra straps showing are a dress code violation.
me:(like an idoit trying to refer to a mutual experience) said you would get a referral for a bra strap but the girl who had her garters showing is ok? i am not sure i get that.
14yr: (puffing up and raising her voice) her name is ------. and just because she dresses the way she wants doesn't mean anything. at this point some other comments on how she is said girls friend and how she will defend her were made.
me:(trying to hold back) First of all I didn't know her name, i don't go to school with her and have only heard it once....no make that twice since you just said it again. 2) i know how the outside doesn't always match the inside. I am not commenting on that. I am just asking why if person 1 and person 2 both show underwear why person 1 just goes on her merry way while person 2 would get a referral. Not caring what either are on the inside.....just trying to understand.
and then i started crying.....i freaking hate confrontation.
14yr: well sorry b ut she is my friend and i don't like people talking about her.
me: wasn't about her. it is about how you two can both show underwear and she was ok and you would get a referral.
14yr:well she has long legs...(i guess this was in defense of the too short skirt).
me: (just sat there trying hard not to cry even harder or give her my mom look which i hear is pretty stern) like i said i was just tryoing to understand something i wasn't understanding.
14yr: ok bye see you guys later (slams car door and leaves)
me drives off trying not to get snot and tears all over the place as the boy watches.
I am pathetic. And while I do think outside doesn't reflect inside this too short skirt girl is dressing in a unacceptable fashion. I would be very waryu of my son wanting to hang out with her until i knew her better. I don't think her showing her lacies makes her a 'ho but it also doesn't work in her favor on several levels.
And yes after I went home the eating went all down hill, and yesterday it wallowed in down hill between the feeling sorry for myself and the crap and craving in mys system.
The boy has been having bad headaches/migraines and he goes for an MRI this afternoon. After mom's stroke/anurisms I am panicing something is going to show up and who knows what!
More later....if i make it through the day and finnish in a upright position.
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